Trying to remember how much you loved someone is the weirdest feeling in the world. It just feels like a dream that was dragged out for too long. I can still remember bits and pieces but I’m not sure about anything.
What am I doing whining about someone who doesn’t think twice about me?
I just didn’t see this one coming. How stupid of me to think that you’d always be my best friend. Can you blame me? I am stupid. I am fickle. I am hopeful. I am young. I am alone.
Our old anniversary is coming up soon. What should I do then? Whine some more? Get stupid drunk? I am such an idiot.
This isn’t fair for anyone but every boy I talk to I instantly compare to you. Are his hands long and thin like yours? Does he smell like you? Does he laugh at the same things you laugh at? Does he have an overbite like you? When I kiss him will I think about you?
5 months alone. That’s okay.
i really wanna kiss you and be cute with you and fall asleep in your arms and go on stupid dates but i also sort of want to light you on fire and throw myself into traffic so idk
This is explains everything I’m feeling right now. Thank you.
Do you know how I date?
I make the boy watch The Great Gatsby with me even though I’ve already seen it twice before.
THEN the second Jay Gatsby talks about how he knew that loving Daisy would change him forever and that a man like him shouldn’t have fallen in love but he did that shit anyway, I start to sob like a fucking weirdo. THEN the second Lana Del Ray starts singing I just keep crying.
I am so attractive and romantic.
Oh and then I tell him about how I’ve only had one boyfriend because I didn’t think the other men were worth my time. Way to be a buzzkill Rachel. Awesome.
And yet we still have plans for another date. Is this some kind of sick joke?
At this point in my life, this is exactly how I feel.